


this is a place where i don't feel alone

by bellamythology (onemanbellarmy)



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Post-Canon, Established Relationship, F/M, Family Feels, Fluff, and Madi too ofc, ft a bellarke baby!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-14
Updated: 2017-08-14
Packaged: 2018-12-15 02:38:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,271
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11796696
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/onemanbellarmy/pseuds/bellamythology
Summary: “People talk about maternal instincts all the time, and my mom kept telling me that once he was born I’d just know exactly what to do,” Clarke confided. “But Bellamy just never seems to have any problems with him, and for once it feels like I’m not pulling my weight in this relationship. So to speak.”“He had more than twenty years’ head start on you,” Raven pointed out. “Have you talked to him about it? Or better yet, talk to Octavia. I’m sure it wasn’t all smooth sailing for them.”Clarke made a face. “I keep meaning to, and then I see my boys together and I can’t think of anything except how cute they are, and how glad I am to have them.”“When did you become such a sap?” Raven teased. “Seriously, talk to your other half.”[Even though Bellamy makes parenting look so easy, Clarke's struggling to figure it out.]





	this is a place where i don't feel alone

**Author's Note:**

> Bellarke Prompt Fill for 2 Anons: “clarke is upset that their daughter said bellamy is better at braiding hair” + “clarke feeling inept bellamy makes parenting look easy? like, he raised o, right? he has experience! and since their kid left her womb he has no problem bathing, feeding, burping, putting them to sleep and all.”
> 
> There's also a blink-and-you'll-miss-it reference to a Minty baby (adopted ofc; I headcanon that Marper broke up amiably, and now Harpoe and Minty are together and my OTPs each have at least one small child they're raising), as well as multiple instances of Bellamy being a huge nerd. Hope you enjoy!

Raven’s eyes widened in sympathy as Clarke stumbled into the dining hall, dark bags under her eyes and limp hair falling out of her braid. “I thought he was sleeping through the night already?”

“He does,” Clarke said through a wide yawn. “But apparently he thinks the morning starts as soon as the sun comes up.”

“Well, technically he’s not wrong.”

“Et tu, Brute?” Looking significantly more awake than he should given, that he’d been the one to get up with their son, Bellamy set a plate of early strawberries in front of Clarke as he sat down beside her. “That’s exactly what Grandpa Marcus said when I dropped our Crispus off this morning.”

“If you keep calling him that, he might think it’s his actual name.” Raven cocked her head, bemused.

Clarke sighed. “Shockingly, _Horatio_ doesn’t really lend itself to any nicknames, so we’re trying out a few to see which stick. That one’s not going back into the rotation, obviously.”

“Why not? It’s an actual Roman cognomen and it means _curly-haired_.” Bellamy smiled charmingly, the very picture of an (unfairly hot) history nerd in his element, and Clarke was almost tired enough to just let him win yet another argument on the appeal of that  look alone. Almost. “Is it my fault it’s accurate?”

“ _Is it your fault_ our son’s head is covered in adorable but untamable curls? Genetically speaking, absolutely.” Clarke reached over to ruffle Bellamy’s hair, already mussed from sleep. (Sometimes she would look over and think that her son looked just like Bellamy, before remembering all over again that yes, she actually had a child — an adorable, impossibly stubborn, alarmingly adventurous little boy with dark curly hair and improbable blue eyes — with this man. Her partner, her best friend. _Her_ man.)

“Hey, you like my hair.”

“Eh, it’s okay.”

He leaned in closer to whisper in her ear, making her shiver. “ _Liar._ You didn’t seem to think it was just _okay_ this morning when you —”

“Ew, get a room,” Raven interjected from across the table, though she was grinning. “Is this what you guys do all day after you foist the kids off on your unsuspecting extended family?”

“I wouldn’t call them unsuspecting. Most of them are pretty eager to do it, and they knew what they were signing up for when they came begging us to let them babysit. And after all the trouble we went through for them, I think the delinquents owe us more than a few hours of childcare.”

Being one of said delinquents, Raven just smirked. “I’ve got Madi this afternoon, right? I’ll see you guys then. And try to keep it in your respective pants; your own kids are running around this camp.”

“Not if Grandma and Grandpa do their job!” Clarke called after her, but she was smiling too.

 

Every so often, Clarke was reminded how lucky it was that Madi had already been well out of babyhood by the time she’d found her. She honestly wasn’t sure if she’d survive parenthood without Bellamy, so she was beyond glad that she would never have to find out.

Even before he was named, Horatio had taken up nearly all his parents’ combined attention and worry, which was saying quite a lot considering theirs was a partnership that had averted wars and survived the literal apocalypse.

Bellamy had pretended to be disappointed, claiming that all his “best” names were for girls before adding thoughtfully, “But then again, a lot of them have masculine forms, which would work for a boy.”

“I just spent nine hours pushing out _your son_ ,” Clarke had huffed. “Could you wait ten minutes before you try to talk me into anything questionable?”

That had gotten a laugh out of Abby as she handed back the bundle of blankets that was her newborn grandson. “I’ll leave you two to argue over his name while I break the news to Madi that she’s officially a big sister now. Any chance you’ll have reached an agreement by the time we get back?”

“Probably not,” Bellamy said softly. His gaze had yet to leave the baby, now back in Clarke’s arms; there was a tenderness in his eyes that Clarke had never seen before, and she felt herself tearing up at the thought of her expanding family.

“He’s so small,” Clarke remarked in awe, gently tracing the outlines of the baby’s tiny face. “And so perfect.”

“Just like his mom.”

She made a face in lieu of answering that, wrinkling up her nose so adorably that Bellamy couldn’t resist leaning over to drop a kiss on it. Of course, that woke their son up, and he immediately began to make his displeasure known. Loudly. Her efforts to quiet him fruitless, Clarke was all too happy to let Bellamy try when he offered.

As he paced calmly up and down the room with the baby, she asked wryly, “You wouldn’t happen to know a Latin name that means ‘noisy,’ would you? Or ‘disruptive’?”

“Who’s coming up with questionable names now?”

Before long, though, the baby had quieted again, his eyes — the same light shade as his mother’s, though Abby had pointed out they were likely to get darker as he got older — wide and alert. Paired with his tiny frown, he looked surprisingly contemplative: a smaller version of Bellamy in one of his pensive moods.

“He looks like he’s seen some sh — _stuff_.” She knew it would be a while before the baby started learning to parrot words, but it would probably take that whole time to break the habit.

“ _There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, / Than are dreamt of in your philosophy._ ” Bellamy smiled a little, self-conscious.

“Horatio. That’s not a bad name.”

Their son blinked, then settled into sleep.

“I guess that’s a yes, then.”

Bellamy leaned over and kissed her forehead. “You did good, Mom.”

“ _We_ did good. He’s half you; don’t think you’re getting out of this so easily.”

That got a soft laugh out of him. “Wouldn’t dream of it.”

 

As the days passed, though, it quickly became clear that first burst of noise would be more indicative of Horatio’s usual pattern of behavior than his later tranquility — at least, when he wasn’t being cared for by his father.

To Clarke, all his cries sounded the same: earsplitting and incomprehensible. Yet Bellamy seemed to effortlessly make sense of them, instantly knowing whether the baby wanted food or a nap or a change or just to be picked up. At first she was relieved that this shifted the main responsibility to her partner, who was more than happy to shoulder it, but after watching some of the other mothers in camp she started to feel like she should be better at this.

“People talk about maternal instincts all the time, and my mom kept telling me that once he was born I’d just _know exactly what to do,_ ” she confided to Raven. “I keep waiting for it to kick in, and it just never does. He won’t eat, he won’t sleep, he won’t even hold still for me. But Bellamy just never seems to have any problems with him, and for once it feels like I’m not pulling my weight in this relationship. So to speak.”

“He had more than twenty years’ head start on you,” Raven pointed out. “Have you talked to him about it? Or better yet, talk to Octavia. I’m sure it wasn’t all smooth sailing for them.”

Clarke made a face. “I keep meaning to, and then I see my boys together and I can’t think of anything except how cute they are, and how glad I am to have them.”

“When did you become such a sap?” Raven teased. “Seriously, talk to your other half.”

But it never seemed to be a good time.

 

_One year later_

To Clarke’s dismay, Madi actually darted out of her reach as she picked up the brush. “Where’s Bellamy?”

“Dropping off your brother with Harper and Monroe,” Clarke replied, bemused. “Why?”

“No reason! Just, um, I can wait for him to get back.”

“Madi.” (The others called this her “mom voice,” but it was far less effective on her adopted daughter than it had been on the delinquents.) “You can’t go about the day with all that hair in your face. Come here and let’s get this over and done with.”

The girl mumbled something that Clarke couldn’t make out.

“What did you say?”

“Nothing!”

“Madi —”

“Bellamy’s better at braiding hair,” the girl blurted.

“Okay.” Clarke barely managed not to react too visibly. “Well, Bellamy will be back soon, if you insist on waiting for him. I’ve got to drop in on the medbay, see how they’re doing.”

 

Heart sinking, Clarke was about to start another search of Horatio’s favorite places when Bellamy’s voice came from behind her.

“Look what I found at the edge of camp.” With an eyebrow cocked in amusement, he took a sideways step to reveal the toddler clinging to his jacket, who just grinned and tried to put his other fist in his mouth, grunting in displeasure when Bellamy caught him by the arm. “Hey, buddy, we talked about this. If you’re going to play in the dirt, you’re gonna be touching lots of yucky stuff that I promise you don’t want in your mouth. You gotta wash your hands first, or you’ll get sick.”

Waving his pudgy arms insistently, Horatio babbled an incomprehensible reply, then turned those innocent big blue eyes on Clarke, who couldn’t resist a smile even as her heart rate had yet to return to normal. Intellectually she always knew that he couldn’t have gone far, that someone in camp would find him before he could get into too much mischief, but that didn’t stop her adrenaline from spiking every time she lost sight of him.

“I swear, I only looked away for a second.”

“He really doesn't make it easy. Just like your mom, huh?” Bellamy scooped their son up into his arms with an unconcerned ease that Clarke had never seemed able to achieve. The abrupt change in altitude elicited a squeal of pure delight, drawing smiles from everyone in the vicinity.

She sighed, glancing back towards the medbay. She’d already taken so much time off, at everyone’s insistence, but she just couldn’t seem to care for her patients and Horatio at the same time.

“I can take him for the rest of the day, if you’re busy,” Bellamy offered. “Miller can lead the hunting expedition, and Harper’s been wanting to get out of camp for a while. I don’t have to go.”

“Are you sure?”

“It’s not exactly a hardship to spend extra time with my mini-me, Clarke. Seriously, it’s no problem.”

“Okay, if you really don’t mind.”

“We’ll manage. Right, Hamlet?”

She couldn’t help but laugh. “You can’t just substitute another name for his, even if they’re related! I’m seriously starting to think you don’t know how nicknames work.”

“Said the princess to the former rebel king.”

“Touche. I’ll see you back at the cabin, then.”

 

When she returned that evening, Bellamy took one look at Clarke and seemed to realize immediately. “Did something happen with Madi earlier?”

“No. Why?”

“She said you’ve been acting weird. And some of the others noticed that you’ve seemed distracted today. Plus, you told me you’d try to stop missing dinner.”

“I’m fine.”

“Clarke.” His expression was fond but exasperated. “That’s not what I asked.”

“It’s not a big deal, Bellamy. Just let it go.”

Of course, he couldn’t just leave it at that; it was exactly why their relationship worked. “Talk to me, princess,” he said softly, sitting down beside her on their bed.

She sighed. “Madi said you’re better at braiding hair. She actually ran away from me when I tried.”

“Well, she’s at that age,” Bellamy tried. “Just look at little Maya; she won’t let Monty _or_ Miller touch her hair.”

“It’s not just that.” Another sigh, but since this conversation was long overdue she kept going. “You’re better at all of this. Ever since Horatio was born. Bathing him, feeding him, putting him to bed, soothing him when he cries — you just make it all look so easy. I mean, I know you have experience and all, but …”

“Clarke, hey. Listen. The first time I picked up Horatio, I was honestly terrified.”

“You were?” Her gaze snapped to his, earnest and vulnerable.

“Oh yeah. Some of the guys were teasing me that it’d be different with our own child, but I hadn’t realized it was so true. I mean, of course I love all our godkids, but … with Horatio it just feels like the stakes are higher, you know?”

“Yeah.” She curled into his side, and he put an arm around her. “What was — How did you get over it?”

“Tell you a secret?” Feeling her nod against his shoulder, Bellamy half-smiled. “I never did. Every day I get up in the morning, and I just figure, our best is all we can really do. No parent ever really knows what they’re doing, and most people turn out okay. The important thing is that the kids know we’ll love and support them no matter what, and you’re doing just fine on that front.”

Suddenly Clarke laughed softly.

“What?”

“It’s been years since we’ve heard a real Bellamy Blake speech. I never thought I’d miss them so much.”

He laughed too, and kissed her forehead before standing up slowly. “Grandma and Grandpa are probably getting worn out about now; we should bring the kids home soon.”

Clarke nodded. “Ready when you are.”

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and kudos are always greatly appreciated (let me know how I can improve, or if you particularly enjoyed certain lines!); you can also come talk to me on [Tumblr](http://bellamythology.tumblr.com)!


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